Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
