): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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