I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
