my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
