you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
