I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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