I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
