im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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