Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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