he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
