their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
