You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
