Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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