normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
