I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
