Kiss
Puke
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
