WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
