I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Someone came in the potted fern
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
