'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
