Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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