Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
