Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
NoShamevember. You game?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
