Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
