i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
