I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
