thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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