and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize