I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
