you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize