Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
