You smell like a Billy Joel song
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
