I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
