why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
