its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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