What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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