What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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