I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
