I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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