Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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