If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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