she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
