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Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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