No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
