please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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