I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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