That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
