I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
they need to just BURY HIM!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so much tequila, so little girl.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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