im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
