Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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