She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've blown a few things in my day
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
