Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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