my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize