The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
