did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
