I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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