He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
