All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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