sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
