I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
