and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
NoShamevember. You game?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
