Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
