marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
