Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
3pm strippers are depressing
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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