I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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